For those who are participating in the challenge welcome to week 9! For those of you who are stopping by to read the blog, welcome!. Lets talk about considering all the facts. First, I want to remind you that we all have faults. No one is perfect. As human beings, we all do or say things that someone, somewhere will dislike or disagree with. There is always that one person that, for some reason, annoys us. The way they speak or act; it just gets under our skin. But why? Why do we allow the actions of others to get to us. It may be because we do not consider the facts.
We must consider the source and background of the person who annoys us; we didn't all grow up in the same environment. Our homes, circumstances and even our morals and values are different. If we could stop for one moment and consider the facts these things may not bother us as much. We are all different in so many ways.
As an example: For some people any attention is good attention. Sometimes when people strive to be the class clown, it is because they enjoy the attention. They do not realize that they are annoying others; all they know is that they are getting your attention. They might not have been given enough attention as a child and they felt ignored or invisible. They are yearning to be seen so they act out in a way that is almost like showboating. They are being seen, laughed at and they are the center of attention. Good, bad, or indifferent; any attention is good to them.
How do we address these annoying individuals? First, try and remember that none of us are mind readers. If someone is humming and it is driving you crazy or the person next to you is tapping their pen on the desk and it is making it hard for you to concentrate; they do not know it is bothering you unless you tell them. There is no reason to be mean or cruel or to talk behind their back. All you need to do is try to be polite & calm or maybe in a light hearted funny way tell them that what their doing is driving you crazy or making it hard for you to concentrate. Just do it in a way that isn't mean. Approach them with a smile on your face and simply let them know.
Think about the neighbor or acquaintance everyone thinks is weird or obnoxious. Do not listen to everyone else's opinion. Try a friendly "hello" or "how are you". If you get a chance comment on the lawn, car or whatever. Unless he has done something terrible... You do not know what this person has been through, what they are going through. People generally aren't mean and nasty unless provoked. Again, we are all human and something has caused the person to be the way they are. Take time to learn the facts and consider that they aren't purposefully being nasty.
When we take the time to consider all the facts, we not only reduce are stressors but we have a chance to make the world a little nicer for others. You never know what a person has been through, you don't know what happen before they saw you that day. We need to take the time to speak to one another, be there for each other.
Think about that co worker that no one likes - you know, the one everybody teases. He/she is quiet and keeps to themselves. Maybe that person will try every once in a while to talk to others but everyone just jokes or laughs at them. Let's consider the facts. Why does everyone do that? They don't have the nicest clothes or car. They are a little awkward, goofy maybe. It may be that they are taking care of ill family and they can not afford new clothes. Maybe they are always in a hurry and that is why their clothes are always wrinkled. You have no idea what is going on in their life. Take 5 minuets and get to know them. Offer to have lunch or a snack. Where do they come from? Are they married or have kids? What do they do for fun? How did they get their job? You do not need to be best friends or hangout outside of work but give them a chance you may realize that they are really great. You may be the one friendly voice that relives their loneliness.
I know that not all of theses suggestions will be realistic for you. Maybe you already know why you do not want to approach certain individuals. You could be part of the solution instead of encouraging the problem. We are all responsible for our own actions and when we take 5 minuets to consider the facts behind every situation and not just the ones we see, we help to create a better world; a kinder world where everyone is treated with kindness and respect. A world where we think about each other and what others have been through that contributes to who they are. I challenge you to find out why that one person gets under your skin? Maybe its a friend of the family or a coworker. Make it a point to find out more about that person. Do something nice for them. Extend the olive branch. Make peace within.